Wendi Lou Lee

The beloved Mr. Edwards makes his first appearance, how can you not love his silly song and childlike demeanor?  I love that we get to see what’s really inside of him, maybe the reason behind all his drinking. He goes into a panic seeing Laura sick with a fever, reminding him of the daughter he lost from scarlet fever. Isn’t it strange how something can trigger a traumatic event and you are taken right back? Just last Sunday marked the 10 year anniversary of my dad dying of a heart attack. I was with him that day and tried to revive him, but I was not successful. The ambulance came, with its screaming horn … took my dad away on a stretcher, I knew he was gone.  Even to this day when I hear a siren my heart stops … I have to force myself to take a breath.

Mr. Edwards was still dealing with the pain of loss, maybe blaming himself but for sure blaming God.  “He never had time for me, so I don’t have time for Him.”  So often God doesn’t come through for us the way we want, I wonder if it’s all in his divine plan to break our hearts so that they will be open to Him and his plan.   A plan that in the moment makes no sense, but always has its purpose if we are patient and have the eyes to see.

I still miss my daddy, lately it’s just so sad to me that my kids don’t remember him.  We talk about Grandpa Lanny a lot, they see me get quiet and sometimes my eyes get glassy.  I get big hugs from them and life moves on, but I don’t … I’m still left with the questions of why.  My broken heart has to rest on a verse in Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  I will probably never understand the reason but I do see God’s perfect will unfold. I see the amazing husband he gave to my mom, making her so happy. I see my children love Grandpa Curt with the same love they would have loved my dad with.  It’s all still love and even when it’s not how we would have written the story … We don’t get to write the story, but it’s still beautiful!