Yesterday was quite the day!
My emotions didn’t know which way to move–it made me pause and think about what I tend to do and how I can change that tendency.
It all started out just glorious. The house was quiet after taking my kids to school, I put on my yoga pants and rolled out my mat. The title of the yoga session was “Freedom & Forgiveness”… how did my online yoga instructor know?
Just a bit of backstory–I don’t do yoga, well not until recently. October 1st I decided to give it a try for a 30 day challenge. I aim to visit my mat everyday, but it doesn’t always happen. I’ve made it to Day 24 since then and I’m mighty proud of myself. This girl can’t touch her toes and Downward Dog is just about the hardest thing I can imagine. But it helps me relax and focus, and who doesn’t need more of that in a day!
So I’m cat-cowing or downward dogging and I hear my phone ring downstairs. Not a chance am I leaving my deep breathing to be greeted by a healthcare salesperson… the most common as of late. I let it go to voicemail. When I finally make my way to the kitchen, I’m pleasantly surprised at a message from a past client. He has some more upholstery work for me and mentioned he left a review on Yelp.
I must admit I haven’t been working much, with finishing my devotional and then the multiple rounds of edits my Yelp account has been ignored for months. There it was–a five-star review from my sweet chiropractor client… but wait there was another review. Not a five-star, not even a three-star. And this client was not sweet.
Friends, it wreaked me.
Within minutes, my stomach was in knots and my head started throbbing. I had completely forgotten about the great review, like it never happened. My mind went through a mess of critical thoughts about myself and the quality of my work and why was I even in business? Surely I should close shop and never sit at my sewing machine again.
The other rollercoaster part of my day was discovering my devotional on Amazon… NO WAY!! The title is set and the cover is beautiful–really you should just pause for a minute and search for Wendi Lou Lee or A Prairie Devotional on Amazon. It’s not for sale yet, only the eBook is available for preorder. But still, my name… on the cover of a book… on Amazon!
As I jumped in the shower before picking up the kiddos, I let the water pour over me. The steam clearing my all-over-the-place thoughts. Why is it that criticism stays with us far longer and deeper than positive words? I know I can’t please everyone, but for some reason I want to try. And when I fail, I’m ready to throw in the towel.
I pulled up Amazon, one more time, to take another look and then it hit me. There are going to be reviews of my devotional and chances are some people are not going to like it. And they won’t be shy about telling the world how they feel. My stories of faith are much more precious to me than some lady’s furniture. This could be a tough journey ahead.
Unless. Yes, unless.
What if I stopped trying to please everyone? What if you stopped trying to please everyone? What would our lives look like?
Day 23 of my yoga challenge sums it up perfectly–Freedom & Forgiveness. Free to be me, free to be you! Forgiving ourselves when we fail and forgiving those around us too.
Living each and every day to please the One who matters most.