The Lies I Tell Myself

Expectations.

Specifically, the expectations we put on ourselves. Expectations often give way to internal lies we put on repeat. Telling us that our expectations were not met. We failed. Again. Expectations…

Can we talk about them for a minute?

When I was elephant-sized pregnant with my son Tobey, I imagined being the best mom. Snuggling him every night before bed, reading books on the couch, and tucking cute little notes in his lunchbox. Notes covered with hearts.

Raegan was born two years later and I began to realize that I was outnumbered. Not only by children, but even more so, energy. The more I failed as a mom, the more lies I told myself.

Trying to be a “good” mom didn’t work out so well for me. Constantly taking one step forward, and then three steps back. The inner dialogue in my mind convinced me that I was NOT a good mom. Oh, I tried to be… but the lies seemed to crowd out what was really happening.

Even after a great day, I told myself that I could have done better. Or been more intentional. More loving. More understanding at naptime. The mom lie embedding deeper in my heart. “I am NOT a good mom.”

If you tell yourself a lie for long enough, it becomes the basis of who you believe yourself to be. We forget that lies are not truth. Lies don’t serve us or the people we love.

The lies I tell myself are the most powerful and destructive of all.

Lies wreak havoc on my relationships. Telling myself that my husband deserves a better wife. A better cook and housekeeper. A more successful business owner to help with the bills. My friends shouldn’t spend time with me. I’m a terrible listener. A lousy friend. My kids… don’t get me started. Now that they are teenagers the lies are screaming.

You too—do you do this?

Lies come from the great deceiver. If he can get us to believe the lies, then he has us right where he wants us. Ineffective. Self-absorbed in the most backwards way. Defeated.

Lies aren’t even true! And yet we surrender our lives over to falsehood, to a thief, robbing us as if we can’t do anything about it.

But God.

He is all we need.

He brings light and truth to the deep, dark lies.

He brings life and hope, and at the same time inspires us to be the best that we can be.

A thief has only one thing in mind—he wants to steal, slaughter, and destroy. But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect—life in its fullness until you overflow!

John 10:10 TPT

Let’s clear out the lies. Reject the falsehood in our minds. Taking our relationships back we can experience fullness, with truth as the underlying foundation.

Give yourself grace. Do the best you can do and then leave it at that. Hug your kids, your spouse, your friends.

I am a good mom, no I’m a great mom!

Repeat in your mind or better yet, say it out loud.

“I am a good mom, no I’m a great mom.”… (or dad or grandparent)

“I am a loving wife.” … (or husband)

“I am an awesome friend.”

With your help God make me the best I can be.

And then hug yourself for keeping lies out of your mind. You deserve it.

Much Love,

Wendi Lou

If these words blessed your heart… set them free by sharing this post. I’d love to connect with you, so leave me a comment through the Connect Page on my website. You can also subscribe to receive my weekly blog posts and monthly newsletter.

About the Author wendiloulee.com

Jesus follower and Little House on the Prairie Lover. Author and speaker of stories.

4 comments

  1. Wendy,i too tell myself lies! My 28 year old son( my only child) passed away 4 1/2 years ago yesterday. I have convinced myself I let him down when he needed me most. I was at work when I got the call they took him by ambulance to the hospital! He was having trouble breathing! It took me a few seconds,that seemed like hours to comprehend what I was being told. By the time I got to the hospital he was gone. I was the last person he called! If I had been home I could have done CPR! I would have known sooner that he was in great trouble, he died on my living room floor. He had a blood clot, we didn’t have any idea. I know in my mind there was nothing to be done, but my heart just doesn’t understand…. I struggle with being a good wife,grandma,friend…. People tell me all the time im wonderful,but I have my doubts.

    Like

  2. Wendy,i too tell myself lies! My 28 year old son( my only child) passed away 4 1/2 years ago yesterday. I have convinced myself I let him down when he needed me most. I was at work when I got the call they took him by ambulance to the hospital! He was having trouble breathing! It took me a few seconds,that seemed like hours to comprehend what I was being told. By the time I got to the hospital he was gone. I was the last person he called! If I had been home I could have done CPR! I would have known sooner that he was in great trouble, he died on my living room floor. He had a blood clot, we didn’t have any idea. I know in my mind there was nothing to be done, but my heart just doesn’t understand…. I struggle with being a good wife,grandma,friend…. People tell me all the time im wonderful,but I have my doubts.

    Like

  3. Thank you Wendy I needed this inspiration. I have been going threw some difficult stuff with work and home. I needed that thank you.

    Like

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