Season One – "The Lord Is My Shepherd"
There is so much I could say about this episode, so many ways I could go. The direction I’m going is take is maybe because it’s been so true for me these last few months. Of all the tidbits of truth conveyed in this two part show my favorite line is from Jonathan, the angel sent to watch over Laura on the mountain. He says “Tears make things come alive again.”
When I think of tears, either seeing someone cry or crying myself, it’s usually not tears of joy. (Although I was at a wedding this last weekend where there were a lot of happy tears being shed by the groom, but that is besides the point.) The tears I usually think of are tears of pain, betrayal, loss. It’s our bodies natural way to deal with grief or disappointment or sadness. Why is it that sometimes it just feels so good to cry? In a way it is an emptying of our hearts of all that is weighing us down or the overflow of joy that cannot be contained.
I’m a cried, it comes easy to me. I can see a commercial or movie or any given Little House episode and get a little misty with emotion if it hits a cord in me, some reminder of a deeper issue. The olympics are the worst … The personal stories of overcoming great obstacles get me every time. I always thought I was overly emotional, wearing my heart on my sleeve … but I think really it’s more than that. Maybe I’m dealing with my heart issues through my tears, because I refuse to actually address them myself? I researched a little about the reasons we cry, over and over again the findings were inconclusive. In the end, just a lot of hunches but the idea of catharsis kept coming up. (I had to google it just to get a clear definition so I knew what they were talking about.) It was defined as a purifying or cleansing of emotions, in a sense your bodies attempt to elevate your mood.
Sometimes tears just lead to more tears, and other times they lead to life. How can we use our tears to help us move on, move on to what is next? This past year I’ve shed a lot of tears, more than I thought was possible. Some tears were from pain, some from being misunderstood and some because I didn’t know what else to do. Have you been there? I know that my tears at times have not moved me forward. So this next year I’ve pledged to work hard at uncovering my deepest hurts and hardest moments. And it will probably take yet another round of tears to face them head on. My hope is to cleanse my heart and soul and even my memories of these hurts, so I can be in a place of fully living, alive again. What about you?