Now this is where we continue the story but from the memory after my surgery, for Josh wouldn’t let me be writing it down as we go to the hospital. Friends I understand that this seems impossible for me to remember with all this detail and I truly can’t even begin to understand how it could even happen. Hold on tight because this story is like no other. Everything I am writing is based not on what Josh or Bren remember or remind me but what I actually felt and remember myself…I’m laying here telling myself that there’s no way you are actually believing this is true, I realize it sounds crazy, absurd and many will doubt if this is true. Especially you Adam Weatherby, I’m sure you are rationalizing that this must be due to the drugs still in my body. Now that may be true, or as a nurse explained to me when you have brain surgery, the trauma of the surgery itself can cause heightened sensory perception. Maybe this is what I am experiencing and if it is, then when my brain is finished healing these acute sensory feelings will be lost.
What a shame that will be, but if it does then that is how the journey was suppose to be. Let me catch you up to speed before we continue driving up to the hospital, so that you can comprehend what is to come. My mind is so open, so free, so uninhibited that I cannot even ponder words, they just are and I have no filter so whatever I truly feel gets said, like I don’t even have the choice in the matter! I have never spoken so exact in all my life and I couldn’t even generalize if I wanted to. I know this sounds completely bizarre, it is!
So we leave the hotel, it’s 7am and we are only about 10 minutes from Cottage Hospital. We drive to the front entrance, it has valet parking… Only a hospital in Santa Barbara would have valet parking right? This very nice looking man comes over to give us our valet ticket, gosh darn it I can’t remember his name, but he is so patient and gentle. He keeps telling Josh “take your time Sir” and “I will take good care of your car, don’t worry!” Curt, my mom’s husband, my third earthly Dad in my life emerges from the lobby… He kisses my cheek and gives me a gentle hug.
As I walk into the lobby I see those two that I’m ready to see… Brenda and my mom Jackie! They are here ready for this day, we are all ready for this day! We are suppose to make our way up to the 2nd floor surgical waiting room, so we head that way. The man says you may take the elevators or the stairs, we opt for the stairs because I never want to ride elevators and I could use the exercise… I hadn’t been able to do any activity since I received instructions from my Nuerosurgeon, the 26th of October.
We arrived and the counter was empty. We started chatting I was telling them all about our glorious night and dinner, but I don’t have to remind you…it’s all in the blog. Well we kept looking back and no check-in person and then finally a nurse opened the door and poked her head out and asked if I was Mrs. Lee? Yes was my response and she seemed a little stressed because the check-in person should have been out there and now she was behind schedule. Her name was Shari, she is my pre-op nurse. Nice lady, we talked about our kids…. Both having a boy and girl. Her daughter plays volleyball in Boston, no kidding!! We were showing each other pictures of the kids on our phones.
I was trying to remember names and for Shari the nurse, I just thought about my friend Shari Jantzen, same spelling! So Shari the nurse, got me all ready and then my inner circle of three were allowed to come in… Josh, Brenda and Mom. We just kinda hung out for a bit then Brenda gave this look to my Mom and said “Ok Mom let’s give them a little time together, surgery should start in 5 minutes.” So the girls took off, Josh and I had some time to talk and try to settle down, the 5 minutes turned into about 30 because everything was running late. Finally the 3-D MRI was ready for me, they use it during surgery so I was whisked away but this quiet fellow Francisco… I’m not sure how I’m remembering his name but he’s so memorable.
I’ve only had the one MRI before and it’s really not my fav thing so I’m not super excited about this … I don’t really have a choice so in I go. It’s just a bunch of loud noises and beeps and jolts and crashes for about 30 minutes but better than last time because I don’t have a headache this time! The MRI is done and I’m basically ready for surgery, I am so ready to begin I can’t tell you and I don’t know how I am not scared but I just keep reciting verses in my head to calm down. Philippians 3:10 is on my lips as I wait on the gurney …
“For my determined purpose is that I may know Him – that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him; perceiving, recognizing and understanding the wonders of His person more strongly and more clearly.”
I am wheeled into the operating room, and there’s the anesthesiologist, a few nurses and Dr. Park over in the corner. I look over and think “You are a rock star doc, let’s do this thing.” I lay back and look up, there are these two huge operating lights, just like in Grey’s Anatomy. Then BOOM nothing, no counting backwards just out!
As I’m writing I fear that no one will believe this … That everyone will say I have made this up and I cannot express more clearly that as I have written every word this morning I remember each detail so vividly. So I hope you believe me and the power of God to reveal this story to me. I know pretty stinking amazing but after all … we have a stinking amazing God!